Quite often, when talking about writing, a passive construction is preferable. An experiment in APA format reads nothing like a novel. For a fiction writer today, it’s important to conform to the expectations of the audience they’re trying to entertain.Īlso, a point the author didn’t make, and really should’ve in my opinion, is that passive voice is far more acceptable in non-fiction, particularly science journals. I LOVE 19th century literature, but I have to write for a 21st century audience. I disagree with the author citing examples that this is a 20th century development and implying that this is relevant. The important thing is to understand the language that we use (also somewhat passive, for the same reasons as above–emphasis). The movie Pirates of the Caribbean even made a plot point of it when referring to the pirates’ code as ‘more like guidelines.’ Guidelines are a better word for what we do. I particularly like it because it’s almost a yin/yang to my example in text: The hawk swooped down on the snake.Īny rule can be overused. The example I liked best was (see what I did there–and I did it for the same reasons) “President Kennedy was assassinated…” instead of a more active construction like: An assassin shot President Kennedy… The author implied that the importance of President Kennedy as a public figure made him a more suitable subject for the sentence. The author also points out that there are instances where the passive voice is actually preferable. It’s always worth the extra effort to be informed. A little bit of knowledge can be a dangerous thing. I’d say that is similar to my article “Killing Your Darlings.” People get a hold of a pithy phrase or maxim, don’t really understand the underlying reason behind it, and then overgeneralize. The author points out several authorities criticizing passive voice, and then used examples to show that the sentences being criticized weren’t passive at all. I have several gut reactions to it, and I’ll try to be brief, but not so brief as to be inscrutable. Interesting article–thanks for recommending it. But you’ll end up with a stronger story for it, and that’s really the main thing.ĭragon Hoard and Other Tales of Faerie is free at all major retailers. It’s one of the many joys of editing, all the things you need to look for. “She ran toward me,” conveys slightly more agency on the part of the character than, “She came running toward me.” And especially if you were going to add the phrase, “screaming in fear,” the first form would be preferable. Go with the simpler form of the verb if you can. It’s one of my personal weaknesses, and too many -ing verbs in rapid succession tend to draw attention to themselves. It’s something you need to keep an eye on as a writer. It’s punchier, (even though it ends in a preposition). It would be particularly effective if this character had just killed someone.īut Beowulf could have gritted his teeth as he ripped Grendel’s arm off. “I’m thinking,” conveys a different shade of meaning than, “I think.” And “Whistling to himself, he walked down the road,” is a lovely way to portray simultaneous action and show a character being satisfied with himself, rather than telling it. An excellent link for those who want further information can be found here.) (AKA the present participle for those who care about such things. Okay, it shows simultaneous action, which is one good reason to use an -ing form of a verb. There are reasons for adding a verb be and giving the -ing form to the verb, but make sure you have one.įor example: Beowulf gritted his teeth as he was ripping the arm from Grendel. There’s a more subtle gaffe as well: The hawk was swooping down upon the snake. You’ve put the snake in the place of the hawk, when he’s clearly doing nothing, not even getting away. The worst thing you could do here is to say: The snake was swooped down upon by the hawk. The hawk is clearly doing the acting here. The subject does the acting the object is acted upon.Ī clear example would be: The hawk swooped down on the snake. Most sentences of any length involve a subject and an object. This post will involve a quick grammar lesson, but I’ll keep it short. Passive voice is pervasive and often unwise.
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